Allan Watson's Novels
Dreaming in the Snakepark
Long before God created the Garden of Eden, there was another, much older garden, where the Seraphim and Cherubim waged war upon each other with such cruelty that God saw fit to destroy his first creation and make a new paradise.
Abandoned to rot and decay for countless millennia, only the twisted and malformed dreams of mankind now wander through its poisonous wastelands, trapped like wasps in a jar. But they are not alone. One of the ancient Seraphim survived the wrath of God, and has finally found a way out of his nocturnal prison.
Only one man can halt the fallen angel’s trail of bloodlust and slaughter – the very same man who can also hand the Seraphim the key to wiping out mankind. The mean streets of Glasgow are about to become a battleground of a type never seen before.
The village of Carapace was unravelling. Strand by strand. Thread by thread. As the weave teased itself apart, the underlying pattern of the community was subtly altered. The effects were small at first. Trivial things. Small portions of bad luck, ill health and misfortune. The type of things that happened anywhere else surely. Nothing to do with ill omens or portents of evil. But there were some in Carapace who knew differently……………………
It was the task of the Betrothal Society to notice such insignificant tragedies, to write them down in their black ledgers and analyse any small shifts in the bad luck spectrum. The three men who comprised its committee were old now - prone to their own frailties and the sin of complacency. It was almost seventeen years since the last Briding had taken place and although they meticulously recorded the latest spate of ill fortune in their black leather books, they did nothing except whisper amongst themselves. They had forgotten what it was like to have the enemy at the door.
Carapace heralds the return of the late lamented multi-character, horror genre - complete with buckets of blood, gallons of gore, gratuitous violence and frequent descriptions of dubious sexual practices. This is the sort of novel where you don’t so much suspend your disbelief as put it into cryogenic storage. This is Whisky Galore meets Night of the Living Dead.
The Garden of Remembrance
Matt McVey, his wife Teri, and their two young daughters Denise and Alice, are spending their summer holiday in St Andrew’s on the east coast of Scotland. This will be no carefree holiday however. Six weeks prior to the trip Teri discovered Matt was having a casual affair and kicked him out. Languishing in his brother’s spare room, Matt is resigned to the fact of inevitable divorce and losing his daughters when out of the blue Teri contacts him and suggests they go ahead with holiday. This, she explains will be a chance to see if there is any possibility to work things out between them. There are conditions - they will not share a bed and he is not to use their daughters as bargaining chips. Matt is desperate to mend the marriage and promises to move heaven and earth to make things right. At first the signs are good he will succeed in getting Teri to take him back. But what Matt hadn’t reckoned on is the unseen passenger who travelled to St Andrew’s with them. A shadowy, long forgotten figure from Matt’s past.
Twenty years ago, Ewan Wallace was lead singer in Solomon Grundy, a band on the threshold of the big time when a practical joke went badly wrong, resulting in a fourteen year old girl in Poland murdering three of her school friends before attempting suicide. The girl, Karina Maciek survived as a disturbed cripple in a grim east European mental hospital where she grew into a perverse, half human creature whose hobbies are electro-shock therapy, self mutilation and writing hate filled letters to Ewan. Now Karina Maciek is dying and on her way to Glasgow for revenge.
Allan Watson's Short Stories
.....And Other Stories
‘….And Other Stories’ is a collection of weird and wonderful tales involving dead people fighting in funeral parlours, apple trees with mystical biblical powers, red devils plotting petty misdemeanours, sex potions gone wrong, door-stepping Satanists, DIY trepanning clubs, renegade shadows, and computer games from from another universe.
This collection also includes the award winning short story, ‘Home-Koming’.
Welcome to Invergallus. A dreary, dismal scum-bucket of a small Scottish town. To blend in with the locals we advise you to:
A) Acquire a socially acceptable amount of visible scar tissue.
B) Have sexual intercourse with at least two close family members.
C) Simply develop a bad case of rickets.
(The Scottish Tourist Advisory Service)
These five tales are centred around the local café, The Boggin’ Spurtle, where the tartan juke-box is dedicated to a selection of Scottish musical legends such as Sir Harry Lauder, Kenneth McKellar, Moira Anderson, and Sydney Devine. Feel free to waste your money on badly brewed coffee and overpriced buttered scones served to you with a scowl by the proprietor, Sannox and his sluttish waitress, Flirty Fiona. You can even have a wee flutter on the one-legged fruit machine, but don’t expect to win any money. No-one ever does.
Written by the internationally acclaimed Reverend Strachan McQuade (author of the multi-award winning opus - Breeding Habits of the Fulvous Whistling Duck), these tales delve into areas probably best left untouched……… by anyone.
Please note, that if you wish to write a stiff letter of complaint concerning the stupid and sometimes distasteful content of these tales, or even just to bemoan the fact the author can’t write for toffee, don’t bother. He’s dead.