Israel: “Gonnae stop firing pellets at me? Ah’ve three or four wee bruises at ma joints where the armour is a bit weak. Gonnae stop, eh?”
Israel: “Ah’ve got a real gun, see. If you keep pappin’ they pellets at me Ah’m goin’ to kill ye. Gonnae stop shooting?”
By this time the confrontation had attracted a bit of attention and a wee crowd has gathered to watch. The robo-cop in charge, You Know, has drifted over and told them to put their guns down and talk it over. His problem is that his limbs are controlled by a committee of six and he cannot move until they agree, which they almost never do.
The guy in the shorts is still popping away with the air pistol and the armoured guy is beginning to wave his gun about.
Israel: “Gonnae stop doin’ that?”
Then America turns up. He is the biggest guy in the playground but he is not very bright. He tries to make everyone do what he wants and they all agree to his face because he is so big but behind his back they start pushing and shoving, wrestling and name-calling just as they always have.
America: ”Gie’s a break. Just chill and chat for a wee minute.”
Israel: “Ah’ll start talkin' when he stops shootin’.”
Israel: “Ah’ll just huf tae kill ye, then.”
America and You Know, together: “Ye cannae dae that. He has two wee weans in his arms.”
Israel: “Ah don’t want to kill weans. Get him tae pit them doon so I can just kill him.”
America: “It would be just murder if ye kill weans, ye know?”
America was a bit embarrassed because it was him that had given Israel the gun and armour in the first place.
Israel, after a wee think: “Ah’m civilised. Ah don’t kill weans. But a huf to kill the wee man that’s pepperin’ me wi’ pellets. Get him to pit the weans doon so Ah can kill him and we can all get back to the games.”
America, to Hamas: “How aboot it?”
Israel: “The way ah look at it is, he kens Ah want to kill him and if he keeps haud o' the weans I will have to shoot them. So that makes him the murderer, doesn’t it?”
He fires the pistol killing the two babies and wounding Hamas, who makes off at speed.
Israel, shouting after him: “Murderer! Come back here till ah shoot ye.”