I know I said last time I would write once a fortnight, but at the moment life is pretty exciting, and I thought I’d give you another update before I go back to school, which is tomorrow by the way.
People always want to ask writers about writing and since mum’s been showing The Complete TattyBogle all round DrumTumshie and TattyBogle, everyone has been coming up to me asking about my writing. Mostly they ask me if I have missed doing it over the summer. Not really. But I can’t tell them that can I? If I think about it, maybe I have. I mean, I don’t miss it when I’m not doing it, but when I start again I realise it’s not that bad of a thing to do. Although it does take time.
I’m not like those writers who just like the attention and don’t like the writing. I don’t really like the attention either. Not from real people who come up to me in the street anyway. I don’t mind fans that I’m never going to meet or people who buy the ebook or paperback book and read it and enjoy it. I’m happy for that. Especially if they become my facebook friends.
I want more friends on my Facebook Page because I’ve only got about 80 at the moment and I’d like to have more than 100 anyway. My mum has more than 1000 friends on Facebook and she doesn’t even like Facebook. But she uses it as a political tool. I don’t. My page is just about me. Maybe that’s why I don’t have so many friends. But, you might like to friend me if I tell you that The Complete TattyBogle is in the Amazon charts now.
The highest it got so far is #43 but I don’t like to keep looking because it sometimes drops out of the Top 100. Mr McStoryteller says that’s bound to happen but maybe if I write more about it more people will buy it and put me back up the charts.
So I you haven’t bought it, would you do that – it’s only 99p on Kindle – and leave a review and let everyone else know that you’ve bought it. You’ll make me, and my mum, very happy. For less than the price of a newspaper (dad said to put that in.)
Whether I’m in the charts or not, I’m pretty proud to be the youngest member of the McVoices community. Okay, McVoices isn’t Westminster (thank goodness) and I’m not exactly Mhairi Black, but it does feel good to be the ‘McBaby’ of the group and I will look up to how Mhairi has behaved to make sure that I live up to the trust they have put in me.
Before we go any further, I have to tell you that some not very good things happened this summer. One of them was that son of Micropig went for bacon. That was sad but not when we ate the bacon, and we do all love bacon in the MacRoary house. No, the really bad thing that happened was that I found out that Mhairi Black is gay. That’s not a bad thing in its own right of course and I’m not anti gay and I wish her all the best and all that – it’s just that you might remember that I love Mhairi Black and that I kind of hoped that one day… well, now I have to ‘face reality’ as my Uncle Tam would have said.
I just have to deal with it and maybe try and find a girl my own age. But not at TattyBogle Academy. No. Through the Young Farmers. Because I’ve joined the Young Farmers now and we’ve had some good times this summer even throughout the bad times. I was one of the TattyBogle Young Farmers who took real live cows into DrumTumshie supermarket (I’m not telling you which one in case I get in more trouble) to protest against milk prices. Because they are expecting farmers to sell milk at below the costs of production and as dad says, ‘that’s unsustainable.’ Mum says it's 'bloody stupid' and that's pretty strong coming from her. She also said 'iniquitous' (is that how you spell it?) which I think is the posh way of saying the same thing.
If you’ve ever tried to take a cow round a supermarket you’ll know it’s not an easy thing to do. Moving a cow is a skilled job at the best of times, especially a dairy cow because they are quite set in their ways and they don’t like to act in a flexible manner. A bit like my pal Brian the Brain. He’s a great guy but he can be a bit ‘inflexible in his manner’ at least that’s what they said in his report card. Brian has been working on this all through the holidays, but I think he may not have quite understood it because his way of becoming more flexible has been to come round to mine and hang himself by the arms from the beams in the barn, and worm his way through the cow feeders and one time he got stuck… and I don’t think that’s the sort of flexibility they were talking about.
So you'll see the world just goes on, and on and everything was pretty much normal until last week when as I said in my last post, Mum woke me up and the world had changed. At least for me it had because I was back in the public spotlight.
What I didn't tell you last week was that that night, at dinner WITH CHIPS mum opened a bottle of champagne to toast my success as a rising author. And after dinner Dad shared a couple of cans of beer with me and said ‘I’m proud of you son.’ And that meant a lot. To hear my Dad say he was proud of me. I want him to be proud of me for being a farmer but since I'm too young for that it's good he's proud of me as a writer, even though he's not big on reading. He's proud of ME who I am not me what I do. And that's the best kind of proud you can have from a parent I reckon.
And I learned something which is that beer and champagne don’t go too well together. Not when you’re fourteen at any rate. I didn’t drink them in the same glass of course, but one after the other is enough to give you quite a banging headache if you’re not used to it. Which I’m not. I know that might make me seem very young and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a streetwise urban kid into drugs and gangs and rap and all that sort of thing. I’m a country boy who likes potatoes and wants to be a farmer. And somehow has become a writer along the way.
But because they were so proud of me, my parents bought me a present to celebrate the publication of The Complete TattyBogle and it was a smartphone. Not an iphone or anything like that, but it’s a bit too smart for me anyway. It will take me a few days to work out how to use it and I’ve had to promise not to use it at school. And it’s on a pay as you go tariff which I’ll have to pay for from earnings – I don’t get pocket money now, I earn real money from helping dad on the farm. So I won’t turn into one of these monster youff you see with their heads constantly in a smartphone texting or facebooking or twittering, don’t worry. I’ll keep my roots (or tubers) in the real world thank you.
My friend Brian and me agree that there are far too many interesting things in the world up around and about that you miss if you have your head down in a smartphone or tablet all the time – and you can get run over into the bargain. Even though there’s not lots of traffic around DrumTumshie, how embarrassing would it be to be squished by a tractor because you were busy tweeting?!
But I can keep up to date on the sales of The Complete TattyBogle. Mum says I’m not to check during the school day because that would be showing off. I wouldn’t anyway, because what if no one buys it and someone asks me where it is and it’s down at 2 million or something. Only Brian the Brain would be proud of me then because for him 2 million is such a big number that it’s great to be 2 millioneth whatever the context.
Anyway, tomorrow I’m back to school. I’ll let you know how it goes once it’s happened. See you then.
If you want to buy The Complete TattyBogle and send me back up the charts here are the links:
Paperback –it’ll cost you a fiver, but I reckon it’s money well spent. Or cheap as chips as an ebook for 99p.
And you can LIKE me on Facebook for free. https://www.facebook.com/JackMacRoary
I’m sorry but I’m not a twit, so I don’t tweet or twitter.