More on the reasoning later, but it might be one you find very convincing so if you wish to remain an atheist or agnostic then do NOT read the second half of this post.
I was going to post something in the summer after being to America and my mother-in-law dying (she had cancer) but I never really wanted to, however I’ll post some of it now.
I enjoyed my visit to Florida. I met someone from Costa Rica called Douglas. He had Scottish ancestry.
One conversation I had with an American reveals a lot about the state of American education (or rather lack of it).
I was in ‘The mall at millenia’ (http://www.mallatmillenia.com) - and I’m going to digress a bit about its name and why it makes me have a wee silent chuckle whenever I see it. The word millennium comes from two Latin words (mille) and year (annus). Note the two N’s in annus. When you change the spelling of millennium to have one n, it changes the meaning, I’ll let you work it out. I did wonder whether to explain it to the staff, in the end I decided not to.
Anyway, it was here, I had the following conversation (remember this was not long after the EU vote).
Me and my brother-in-law: Something about being in America for 2 weeks hols.
Member of staff: We only get 10 days.
Me: So might we soon if we lose the guaranteed hols from the EU. Who knows what a tory government might get up to.
Him: Sort of surprise about that.
Me: Yes, the EU gave us lots of guarantees, like 20 odd days a year hols minimum. You can see them in a spoof video on you tube called ‘What has the EU ever done for us’. It’s a spoof of ‘What have the Romans ever done for us’.
Him: blank looks
Me: ‘What have the Romans ever done for us’? It’s from the Life of Brian.
Him: More blank looks
Me: The film, the Life of Brian. You’ve never seen the Life of Brian?
Him: No I haven’t.
Me: It’s one of the funniest films ever made. You’ve never seen the life of Brian?
At this point I thought I’d better warn him about the type of film it is, so I said, ‘It’s very irreligious’
Him: Very religious?
Me: No, no, no. Very irreligious.
Him: I’ll check it out.
I mean what are they teaching kids in America in school these days.
Anyway, back to my epiphany last night. I have been an atheist or agnostic since my 20s, I have seen religion as nothing more than an opportunity for psychos to gain control over normal people and my writing reflects this. However now I realise I was wrong and that there is a God. And why?
Donald Trump, his existence and election requires the existence of a God.
For Donald, he is a viz character made human.
There can be no other explanation.
And only a powerful deity has that sort of power.
I was going to list the evidence here starting with his name meaning fart but I’m sure you, the reader can work it out.
And now, whenever I hear him say anything, I think of him as a drawn viz character saying these things.
If I could draw, then I would start making a comic strip of him, and have him just say his own words.
But I can’t.
- There is a God
- He has a sense of humour
- He reads Viz
And to all you nay-sayers who say Trump was born before Viz was created, remember God is omni-something meaning He can do things without the normal constraints of time.
So, if I ever go to an anti-Trump rally, my placard will say ‘Donald Trump: he’s completely Hatstand’.
I should start a cult.